A Katie Holmes Christmas

ImageI was waiting for my friend on a corner in Chelsea.  She was hunting for a power bar in a bodega.  A lanky man passed me.  

He was all arms and legs and Adam’s Apple.  There was a parakeet in a vest perched on his finger.  He walked very slowly because he was admiring his bird.  

People watched him with curiosity and contempt.  A lady in a leotard tried to pass him but it was crowded and he had his elbows out. 

Suddenly Leotard Lady screamed and dropped her bags and startled everyone. 

She threw her arms wide as if to bear-hug somebody.  The Bird Man stopped and turned around and glared at her.  Then Katie Holmes leaped into Leotard Lady’s open arms.

Katie swung her purse in a great arc and smacked the parakeet right off The Bird Man’s finger.   He shouted, my bird, my bird!  Katie was too busy hugging the lady in the suit to notice.  

The parakeet fluttered around and screeched.  The Bird Man plucked him out of the air and put him back on his finger.  He yelled, watch where you’re going!

Katie Holmes paid no attention.  She locked arms with Leotard Lady and they paraded down 7th Avenue like schoolgirls.  The Bird Man continued walking north.    

My friend came out of the bodega.  I told her I’d just seen Katie Holmes.  She said she’d just seen a man with a parakeet in a vest.